Sep 30, 2017


Hi journal, it's me again. Sorry for being MIA for a while. I didn't mean to. I think I don't have to say why because I always say it every time i'm back to writing a new blog post. I just came back to say i'm still alive. lol I can't say that a lot has happened. You know me, there's not much happening in my life because I don't go out a lot. So far, nothing has changed except maybe I was at a happy place and now i'm back to I don't know even know how to describe my life. I feel like i'm just floating around and I know I should do something about it. Should've done something long time ago. But here I am, still stuck.

Anyways, hopefully I finish this blog post before I start to feel lazy again. To be honest, I miss this. I want to share a lot. I know I said nothing's happened but it's the little things that matter to me. And as you can see, I changed my blog's name. AGAIN. I'm sorry, for a person who seems to be stuck, I like to change things every now and then. As you all know, wanderer means 'a traveler'. I don't travel a lot because i'm basically broke lol but I like to travel a lot. Like a lot. I actually miss traveling. Last time I traveled with family was last May, I think. That'll be for another blog post.

So lately, my life has been the same. Sometimes, I go out with family and I also went to see my best friend last month and my other best friend last July. Most of the time, I watch tv. Sometimes, I read a book or two. Sometimes, I go to visit my baby niece and play with her. So there's that I guess. Somehow, being stuck isn't that bad. But it gets tiring sometimes. You know, doing the same things everyday again and again. I also felt really distant with God lately. Actually, I think it's been a few months now. I read my daily devotion and the Bible everyday but I didn't seem to connect to it. I guess until last night. Last night, I was reading my daily devotional email from Proverbs 31 Ministries, it's about giving up. There's an excerpt: 

The day I said “I can’t take this anymore,” I felt like giving up. Maybe you’ve felt that way, too.
But upon uttering those words and admitting my weakness, I felt a nudge to my spirit. I knew I needed to focus on God instead of my circumstances and worries. I needed to refocus on what He had done in my life, rather than what He had not yet done. I needed to believe instead of doubt Him, and place my trust in the only One who actually could fix things. As I intentionally adjusted my focus, hope and peace slowly returned. Faith alone helped me to God-up instead of give up. Not because I had the strength to do so, but because I had God’s strength within me which pushed me forward in faith, just like the apostle Paul.
I definitely relate to this one. I know, right? God is really amazing. Just when I thought of really giving up, He gives me to read this one thru my daily devotional. I'm honestly getting goosebumps while writing this. I know I have a lot of shortcomings when it comes to my faith but it never really wavered. I realized that I never lost my faith in God, just in myself. I keep on asking God for what my purpose in life is because i'm honestly tired of looking or thinking about what it is. But then, I remembered this one daily devotion i've read from days ago, that I should just let go and let God. I know He has something planned for me. I just don't know what is it yet and i'm willing to wait. I never really question what God is planning for me because I know He's got this. Now, I just need to figure out what to do with myself. How to boost my confidence again because I seem to fail at everything nowadays. But that is a learning process everyday. I feel like i'm slowly getting to it and I know God will always guide me whenever and however, no matter what. 

So if you're on the verge of giving up or already gave up, I suggest to get back up and God-up and always remember that God always shows up.

P.S. I posted a link on the Something To Inspire You tab if you want to get your own daily devotional :)

"Maybe for reasons only you and God know, you’ve found yourself saying “I can’t take anymore,” too. Maybe giving up hope about that difficult situation, problem or relationship seems easier than hanging on to it. It’s okay. Everyone struggles with those thoughts and feelings at times. But like Paul, the moment we catch ourselves feeling that way we can choose to give up or God-up. We can let our thoughts and feelings deplete us of strength, hope and joy, or we can lean fully into God and ask for Him to carry us in our weakest moments. When we God-up, instead of give up, God will always show up."
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